


Lion's Pride

by SousChefSean



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Depression, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 08:07:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20422685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SousChefSean/pseuds/SousChefSean
Summary: Marianne's only wish was that the Goddess would answer her prayers. Until that happened, she had to put forth her her best effort in the Golden Deer at Garreg Mach. That proves difficult when Claude doesn't understand her and Professor Hanneman has no talent teaching what actually interests her. Prince Dimitri of the Blue Lions and the new professor, on the other hand...





	Lion's Pride

* * *

_If death should take me now_

_Count my mistakes and let me through_

_He’ll whisper in my ear:_

_“You’ve taken more than we’ve received_

_And the ocean of sorrow is you”_

* * *

Waking up was such a miserable affair.

As the first rays of the morning sun washed over Garreg Mach Monastery, Marianne slowly lifted her heavy eyelids and raised her head from the feathered pillow upon which it lay. Already weary from the usual nightmares, her mood plummeted further at the same thought she always had upon being roused from sleep.

_I’m still alive…_

Heaving a dejected sigh, she forced herself to climb out of bed and begin the day’s preparations. The Goddess had yet to give her the release she so desperately craved, and so she was still responsible for representing Margrave Edmund. She wasn’t exactly sure _why_ he had seen fit to send her to the Officer’s Academy – surely, he knew as well as she did it was a waste of time?

Shaking her head, she sat at her vanity and gathered the tangled tresses of her hair and set about getting it into a presentable state. She combed it just enough to render it ready for tying into her normal braided bun. While it’s half-hearted sloppiness would be obvious under any level of scrutiny, at a distant glance it did a well enough job of looking dignified and noble. Makeup was a wasted effort she had abandoned long ago; while she was sure most noblewomen loved decorating their faces, she knew well it did little to hide her pallid complexion or the deep bags under her eyes. Letting two strands fall at the side to frame her face, she turned from her mirror and took her uniform from its hook on the door.

She was a Golden Deer, naturally, which she had _hoped_ would mean getting to be in a class comprised largely of commoners who would be inclined to leave her alone due to her noble blood. Unfortunately, her Goddess forsaken Crest ensured her a seat in the elite class of the year, filled with powerful individuals like Claude von Riegan and Lorenz Hellman Gloucester. Though, for some strange reason, they had yet to announce the professors that would teach each of the Houses. Such information was usually posted even before the class compositions. Well, it’s not like it really made a difference; with any luck she wouldn’t be around much longer and trivial concerns like who taught her would no longer be relevant.

Now changed into her uniquely long-skirted uniform, Marianne steeled herself and departed her small sanctuary. Here she reaped the benefit of having such a short preparation time: the hallway on the second floor of the dormitory was bereft of students, granting her solitude as she made for the stairwell. A short walk revealed the dining hall was likewise wanting for people at this time, just as she intended.

This was the perfect timing for her; the early birds were still training or tending to their morning duties while the late risers were still getting themselves ready. Aside from the odd knight or monk in the corner, she was free to eat her cinnamon roll in peace. Except…there was one person who really stood out in the vacant hall. Standing at the doorway was some blue-haired man in similarly colored garb with an overcoat seemingly bolted to his shoulders. The lack of uniform meant he wasn’t a student, but he definitely wasn’t dressed as a member of the Church or the Knights of Seiros.

Come to think of it, hadn’t she overheard some talk about a mercenary escorting the House leaders to the monastery? She wasn’t much for gossip, or human interaction at all for that matter, but her total lack of presence meant people loosed their lips more frequently around her. If that’s who he was, he must have been granted a few days leave to rest at Garreg Mach before setting out with his reward. She supposed it was natural to be curious, but he could stand to be a little less creepy about it.

_ Be careful with those stones in your glass house, Marianne, _she berated herself.

She had no right to judge him, especially not when he’d proven himself useful and saved lives while she just made everything worse. Back to her usual pessimistic funk, Marianne finished her meal in silence. Coincidentally, the outsider turned and left just as she was getting up to leave.

She could hear the chatter of students making their way to the dining hall, tensing up as she realized how close she was cutting it. She slipped out the side door overlooking the fishing pond, successfully avoiding the crowd coming in through the main hall. This actually served her well, as it gave her a chance to stop and visit the only friends she had. A short, stressful trip past the bustling marketplace at the monastery gate brought her to her destination: the stables.

Marianne allowed a small smile to grace her lips. Animals had always been the one solace in her life, and horses were no exception. They weren’t like people; they didn’t hate or judge or falsely flatter. They loved her for the calamitous failure she was, no strings attached. It was only right for her to return that kindness with some extra hay after the morning feeding had passed. It only took a few minutes to pass out the snacks and have her efforts rewarded with contented neighs. It wasn’t like this was explicitly against monastery rules, and the Church was wealthy enough that a little lost hay wouldn’t be missed.

Leaving the stables caused what little contentment she had to evaporate as she thought of what was about to pass. There was nothing left to attend to, and that meant there was only one place to go: the Golden Deer classroom. She could see it now: ignorant nobles who acted like they wanted to be her friend would be disgusted and horrified when they inevitably realized what she was. It was only a matter of time before they all realized that a monster like her didn’t belong with normal people…

A light shake of the head took her thoughts off that dark path. _It’s okay, that will never come to pass. Any day now the Goddess will answer my prayers, and this will all be over. _Emboldened by her assurances, Marianne set off for her homeroom. Thankfully, most of the student body was still in the dining hall, and her path was free of any stragglers. A peek into the classroom confirmed she was the first to arrive, which left her free to claim the most inconspicuous, out of the way seat.

She took her place on the left half of the classroom at the third table from the front, right behind the pillar. Claude had dragged the class here late last week for some kind of history refresher before the year began. As far as she could tell, only the uneducated commoners had actually been interested by the impromptu lesson. All Marianne remembered was desperately wanting to be somewhere else, some white-haired little girl next to her jotting notes on an unrelated subject and a pink haired girl across from her looking painfully bored. Still, it had given her a chance to scope out the room and pick out this spot. The way she saw it, this would mostly keep her out of the professor’s line of sight and away from other students who would rather sit close to the front.

She pulled a sheet of paper from the stack to her left and left her quill sitting in its ink jar. With nothing left to do but wait, Marianne was left with the usual thoughts of self-loathing that kept her company in solitude. After what could’ve been a couple minutes or ten lifetimes, she heard commotion by the door.

“Come on, Ignatz! Why do you care so much about books when the food here is top notch? I could’ve eaten for another hour if they hadn’t cut me off!”

“Are we not here to learn, Raphael? With a professor dictating what we’re taught in the classroom, books are the only way I can study the things I really care about.”

Since turning her head would draw attention, she just kept quiet in the corner and peeked out from beneath her bangs at the pair making their way to the front of the room. Two boys, one almost comically larger than the other. From what she’d heard, the big one was probably Raphael and his small companion was Ignatz.

“We should probably sit in the second row. You know, leave the front to the nobles.”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense. Say, you remember when lunchtime is?”

“I believe around noon or so. Though, I think the exact time depends on however our professor structures the lessons.”

The two were too absorbed in their conversation to pay her any mind – just the way she liked it. It looked as though she’d been right about this spot. Now she could just wait until class began and –

“Hey, whatcha doing back here?”

Marianne nearly shot out of her skin in fright when someone started speaking right behind her. Frantically twisting her head, she saw the source of her panic was the same pinkette who looked like she couldn’t care less about Claude’s rambling. When she saw how alarmed she made Marianne, the girl sheepishly grinned and backed off a little.

“Oh, sorry! I startled you, didn’t I? Guess you didn’t hear me coming with those two talking so loudly. I should introduce myself, huh? I’m Hilda Valentine Goneril.”

Oh hell. The first day of class hadn’t even started and she had someone trying to make conversation. If it’d been Raphael or Ignatz she could have just ignored them, but she recognized Hilda’s family name. House Goneril had secured the Alliance’s Almyran border for generations, and snubbing their daughter would mean trouble for Margrave Edmund. So, very reluctantly, she found her seldom used voice and recited the stock greeting she was taught.

“I…I’m Marianne von Edmund. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s great to meet you too Marianne! I saw you at Claude’s little get together a few days ago. If you don’t mind me saying, you looked like that was the last place you wanted to be.”

That was awfully blunt of her, though not inaccurate. “You didn’t look like you were enjoying it either.”

“Ha, too true! I didn’t much appreciate getting a lecture on what I already know before the year started. I don’t even want to be here; the least Claude could do was let me spend my last free days in peace.”

_ That_ got a start out of Marianne. She thought everyone else at the Officer’s Academy wanted to be there, for the prestige of being an alumnus if nothing else. “You…you were forced to attend as well?”

“You too?! I’m here because of my brother, Holst. He thinks I don’t have any sense of responsibility or something. Unfortunately, my parents shared his assessment and paid my tuition without me knowing. At that point I didn’t really have a choice, and so here I am. To be honest, it isn’t _all _bad; at least now I don’t have to put up with all his constant nagging.”

Marianne definitely sympathized, but cursed Hilda for spilling her guts and thereby forcing her to do the same. “Margrave Edmund is my adoptive father. He believes I need to learn how to interact with my peers and be a leader.” She lowered her head and her voice grew nearly inaudible. “I think it’s all a waste of time.”

“I know, right? It’s not like I’m going to inherit my family’s territory, and in the worst-case scenario I’ll just get married off to someone else. Why go through all this trouble when we’re never going to put it to use? It’s not like either of us is looking to make much of an impact while we’re here. I mean, we were both smart enough to tell this was the part of the classroom least likely to attract attention.”

Ah. So that was why she had noticed Marianne: they’d both had their sights set on staying out of the way and happened to latch onto the same spot of the room. And she’d robbed Hilda of her seat. Not even an hour in and her Crest was working its magic. Might as well do her best to undo the damage while she still could. “I’m sorry for stealing your seat. I’ll get out of your way and try to find the next best thing.”

“Wait, what? You aren’t getting in my way!” She… she wasn’t? Marianne stopped halfway out of her chair. “Come on, it’s first come, first served. If I wanted that seat, I should’ve gotten here earlier like you did. I don’t mind sitting next to you. It’s not like I’ll attract any more attention than those chumps in front.”

_ ‘Chumps’? Who’s she talking about? _Glancing around the classroom showed it had gained several students during her talk with Hilda. In particular, she saw the front two tables were now filled. On the right were Claude and that white-haired girl, and on the left were some girl with orange hair and who she guessed had to be Lorenz, given he was the only boy left. That made eight people in total, meaning their entire class was in attendance. The only piece missing was their mystery professor.

“Quiet down, everyone!” There he was, an elderly gentleman in a coat as gray as his hair. “My apologies for taking so long to arrive, I was attending to urgent business.”

That earned a scoff from Lorenz. “Just what exactly was more important than teaching the future leaders of a generation?”

“If you must know, the Academy has recently taken on a new professor, and I was giving him some last-minute advice. So, Mr. Gloucester, it just so happens I _was_ helping to teach the leaders of your generation.”

“Hah! So that sellsword really took the job huh? Word through the grapevine is that he got his pick of the Houses. Real shame he didn’t choose us even after I regaled him with stories about everyone. Who did he end up teaching then?” Well, that pretty much confirmed the rumors she had heard. Given his apparent familiarity with the man, Claude must really have been saved by some mercenary. If he was that blue stranger in the dining hall, that explained what he was doing there.

“His name is Byleth Eisner, and you are to refer to him as Professor Eisner from now on, not ‘that sellsword’. He has decided to instruct the Blue Lions this year, leaving Professor Manuela to teach the Black Eagles and myself to teach the Golden Deer.”

“Would you mind telling us who you are exactly? At the moment we know more about the other Houses’ professors than our own!” The girl next to Lorenz was the one who angrily spoke up.

_ That was an awfully rude way to address a professor…_

“Oh, yes, of course. Forgive my absent mind. I am Hanneman von Essar, and you will address me as Professor Hanneman. My qualification and passion in life is my Crest research. I am the continent’s foremost expert on the subject, so much so that I am sometimes known as the ‘Father of Crestology’! On that note, seeing as how a good deal of you possess Crests, I would be most happy if I could learn as much from you about your Crests as you learn from me about leadership and combat.”

“Wow, someone who thinks Crests are the most important thing in the world. I’ve never seen _that_ before, huh Marianne?” When her whispers fell on deaf ears, Hilda took a closer look at her new friend, who looked even more withdrawn and upset than before. “Uh, Marianne? Are you okay?”

_ Of course he’s a Crest Scholar. How could I be so selfish to think being here would let me escape people like him? In no time at all he’ll expose me for the monster I am, and then they’ll all turn on me. Really, it’s for the best. Better to be torn apart by a mob than bring calamity on innocent people…_

“Marianne!” She was snapped out of her cynical ruminating by Hilda shaking her shoulder. When she turned to look at her, eyes moist and lips quivering, she didn’t see that hate and fear she was used to. Hilda did look scared, but _for_ her rather than _of_ her. “Geez, Marianne, what’s wrong? You look like someone just told you your parents were dead!”

_ I’ve been expecting to hear that ever since I was adopted_. But no such news had ever come. At least for the moment, there was nothing wrong. She was next to a concerned classmate and ignoring a professor, not facing persecution from a persistent scholar. “I-I’m okay Hilda. I just…I don’t like Crests. That’s all.” It was incredibly obvious to Hilda that there was much more to it than that, but it was also obvious that she didn’t want to talk about it. Marianne clearly had problems she was dealing with, the kind she wouldn’t share with someone she just met.

“Yeah, alright. I’m just glad you’re okay now.” If nothing else that little episode had been an effective test of their seating choice. No one had seen Marianne’s depressed breakdown and their hushed voices ensured no one heard them either. They turned their attention back to Hanneman, who thankfully hadn’t said much of substance in the past few minutes.

“Indeed, Crests may even unlock the secrets to human advancement. By deciphering their secrets, we could possibly isolate the mechanism by which they empower their wielders and thus create artificial Crests of our own!”

“Hey, teach? Fascinating as this all is, I don’t think any of us intend to spend the rest of our lives researching Crests.” Claude finally spoke up on all of their behalf to get Hanneman back on track.

“Hm? O–oh, yes, I’m terribly sorry for getting so caught up in my musings. In the future, please speak up immediately if I should drift away from the topic at hand. Now, let’s see, what else was I supposed to share? Ah, that’s right! This Friday, the three Houses will be conducting a mock battle. In addition to myself and Claude, three of you will comprise our team for a total of five people. Consider it a sort of small-scale rehearsal for the Battle of the Eagle and Lion halfway through the year.”

Hanneman had barely finished before Lorenz shot up, hand slamming down on the table. “You need fill only two vacancies! I, Lorenz Hellman Gloucester, will eagerly volunteer my body and blade for the sake of the Golden Deer’s pride!”

“How kind of you, Lorenz. Before the rest of you get any ideas to follow his lead, I’ve already got someone in mind for each of the last two.” Claude topped off his words by standing up and turning to face his subordinates.

“Is that so, Mr. Riegan? You must know your classmates well to already have a full team decided. By all means, share the lucky chosen with the rest of us.”

“Of course! Who else would I pick but the slackers trying to stay out of sight?”

“Excuse me?!” Hilda was indignant at Claude’s call out while Marianne just hung her head in resignation.

_ That figures. This is my punishment for trying to shirk my responsibility to properly represent Margrave Edmund. Now I get to be the weak link that ensures our failure at the decisive moment. What’s more, I’ve dragged Hilda into this with me. Goddess, I’m awful…_

“You heard me. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice you two sitting off in the shadows? I’m sure the rest of us would’ve been happy to volunteer, but you’ll never do anything unless I force you into it. Or perhaps you’d like House Goneril to know their only daughter isn’t doing her duty to the Alliance?”

“Ugh, _fine_, I’ll fight your stupid mock battle! But leave Marianne out of it, she’s only back here because I made her sit with me so I’d have someone to talk to.”

_ Wait, what is she talking about? That isn’t what happened!_

“Sorry, no can do. I’m well aware of Marianne’s people problem. Maybe she’s not lazy like you are, but she can’t get out of work just because she doesn’t like interacting with others.” Hilda admitted Claude had a point, but there were less publicly humiliating ways to go about it. She could play the social game no problem, but it was cruel to put Marianne on the spot like that.

It was Ignatz of all people who voiced his own concerns next, “Are you sure you should be building the team only an hour into the first day? Shouldn’t we get a feel for everyone’s strengths in order to make a balanced squad?” Most of the Deer shared Ignatz’s assessment and nodded their heads in response.

“Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ve got a plan to ensure our victory. I could pick the team with a blindfold on and we’d still win no problem.”

“Would you care to share this infallible strategy with your fellow Golden Deer?” Claude’s seatmate impatiently inquired.

“Maybe you’re willing to risk a leak, Lysithea, but I’m not. Loose lips sink ships, and the plan is so simple we’ll be able to pull it off with no prior practice. Trust me guys, I know what I’m doing. Lorenz is fond of lances, I use a bow and the professor can cast spells. I’ll give Hilda an axe and Marianne a sword and then we’ll have all of our bases covered.”

It was clear Claude wouldn’t budge on this, so everyone decided to put their faith in him and let the issue drop. At least Marianne had another name to put to a face. Another look at the roster should fill in who the other girl in front was.

“That took far less time than I anticipated, but since the battle will be of little consequence it makes no real difference whether we win or lose. For your sake, I hope you’re as clever as you think, Claude. There is one final matter to attend to before I begin the day’s lectures. Each House is assigned tasks to do around the monastery each moon, one fairly banal and the other of great import. If you wanted to be cynical, you could think of the former as a chore. For some reason, the important mission has yet to be decided, but our trivial errand _has_ been chosen. For the Great Tree Moon, we are to manage the upkeep of the stables.” Marianne perked up at that. For the first time since Hanneman opened his mouth, she was genuinely interested in what he had to say.

“While the Golden Deer as a whole bear responsibility for this, it is obviously not a job that requires the entirety of the House. Since this is the most prestigious class of the House, you will set a good example for your Housemates and take on the work yourselves. That said, even the eight of you would be far more than necessary to accomplish this task. Therefore, only two of you will be assigned to work in a week. Every Monday, we shall decide on another two to take over, unless one or both of the previous students would like to stay on board.”

“Now, with all the explanations out of the way, I don’t suppose any of you would like to volunteer for this week’s work?” When all he got in response was deafening silence, Hanneman gave a disappointed sigh. “I suppose I should have seen that coming. In that case, I’ll pick out at random. The first weekly worker will be–”

“U-um, I’d like to volunteer.” Marianne timidly rose her hand to accompany her request. Everyone turned their gazes on her, surprise clear on all of their faces.

Claude was the first to break the uncomfortable silence. “Well now, I take it back. You might end up being a good influence on Hilda, seeing as you actually have a work ethic. I’m not very good with horses, so I doubt I’d be much help, but does anyone else have it in them to lend Marianne a hand?” This time, the silence only lasted a few seconds before the unknown girl in front spoke up.

“What the heck, why not? I helped out my village with the horses every now and then. It isn’t very pleasant work, but I’ll at least know what I’m doing.”

“You’re such a trooper, Leonie. Try to keep in mind that Marianne’s pulling double duty this week with the mock battle, so you should probably split the stable work a little more than halfway.” It was rather bold of Claude to give out orders for work he had no part in, but she supposed it was his right as House leader.

Just as it was her right to make sure the others weren’t forced to pick up her slack. “No, that’s fine. I…I don’t mind doing it all myself.”

“What?! Marianne, that isn’t right! That stuff is meant to be done by a group; you can’t take it all on alone!”

“Never thought I’d say this, but Hilda’s right about it being too much work. You’ll be at it until at least sundown every night. Having even one extra set of hands will cut that time in half.” It was nice to see Claude and Hilda cared, misplaced as that care may be. Marianne shook her head in defiance of their protests.

“It’s alright. I like animals and being by myself, so I don’t see it as work. I’ll get it done, and I won’t fall behind in my studies so…please.” That was true, but she also hated tidying up. Whatever enjoyment she derived from being around the horses would be drowned out by the monotony of cleaning their stables.

It was the perfect chance to make headway on repenting for her inevitable failures.

“I can’t say I wholly approve of this…but if you complete the task and keep up with your classwork, I suppose it will be okay. Just promise me that the instant it becomes too much, you’ll accept the help of your classmates.” Seeking help when it got hard would defeat the whole purpose, so she feigned assent by giving the professor a silent nod. A little white lie wouldn’t hurt much in the grand scheme of things.

“Seeing as how that takes care of all the housekeeping, no pun intended, it is time to start the day’s lectures. Get out your paper and quills and let us begin.” As she followed his instructions, Marianne could see Hilda shoot her a concerned glance out of the corner of her eye.

* * *

All in all, that had been a pretty predictable first day. Most of Hanneman’s time was spent describing the daily lesson structure and elaborating on the purpose of the Officer’s Academy. The only noteworthy event was during lunchtime, when Leonie had angrily accused her of thinking she was too good to work with a ‘peasant’ like her. Hilda had been dragged away by Lorenz to join him and Claude, and Marianne had chosen an out of the way table, so she could do little but meekly repeat what she’d said in the classroom. Leonie didn’t believe her any more then than she had earlier, and eventually gave a frustrated huff and stormed off to be with Raphael and Ignatz.

It was about three in the afternoon now and she was on her way to her room to drop off her notes before getting started on the stables when a voice called out to her.

“Hey, wait up!” Marianne stopped and turned to see Hilda skipping up to Marianne’s side. “Sorry we couldn’t eat lunch together; Lorenz and Claude were impossible to get away from.”

“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t mind.” She wished Hilda would hurry up and realize she wasn’t worth being friends with. The sooner she abandoned Marianne, the less it would hurt her when the Goddess finally listened to her prayers.

“I wish they’d shut up so I could give them a piece of my mind! That was awful of Claude, guilt tripping you into taking on more work! He already roped you into that dumb mock battle Friday, it’s just cruel to have you clean the stables on top of that!” Marianne let slip a tired sigh; why couldn’t she understand this was what she wanted, what she _deserved_?

“I told you already: it’s okay.”

“No, it _isn’t_! How could you think it’s alright for one person to have to do all of that? You don’t have to take it on just because Claude called you a slacker. I’m lazy, sure, but I know what is and isn’t a reasonable workload.” When Marianne didn’t offer a response, she tried to meet her halfway. “Look, even if you do like animals, you should have at least let Leonie help. What would’ve been the harm in that?”

That got her talk, though not in the way Hilda had hoped. “Please, just let it go Hilda. I…I _need_ to do this. It’ll help make things right, even if only a little.” Marianne knew she wouldn’t know what to say to that. What could anyone say? She probably sounded out of her mind. Surprisingly, Hilda did give her a reply, her honeyed voice sounding genuinely sweet rather than falsely saccharine.

“If that’s really how you feel, then I’ll leave you to it. Just…keep in mind that I’m on your side. I feel as though, deep down, we’ve got a lot in common. Call it a hunch. See you around!” With that, Marianne was left alone again. Though, the solitude felt a little emptier than usual. Well, there was no time to dwell on it; she had work to do.

The student body was spending its post class time training or relaxing with friends, so she was free to slip in and out of her room without incident. A short walk past the fishing pond brought her back to the stables. Unlike her earlier visit, there was someone already inside, sweeping up the stray hay in the walkway. A small, dark-skinned boy in dirt caked cloth with a prominent scar on his forehead, who raised his head at the sound of Marianne’s footsteps.

“If you’re looking to go for a ride or something, you’re gonna’ have to wait until I finish up. Don’t worry, I won’t take much longer.”

“Um, I’m actually here to clean the stables, f-for the Golden Deer.”

“Is that so? They told me a few of the bluebloods would be taking care of some of my work, but I’m not happy about it. Lady Rhea needs everything in tip top shape so her knights can do important missions for her, and I don’t like leaving this stuff to people who’ve never done it before.” His disgruntled frown softened into resigned acceptance. “But I guess I don’t really have a say in it. All I’ve done is sweep up the entryway, so you’ve still got everything else to do. Just make sure you do a good job, okay? I’d feel responsible if Lady Rhea wasn’t able to help people because the stables were too dirty.” He put his broom to rest against the wall and left without another word.

Finally free to begin her work in peace, Marianne grabbed the spare apron and handkerchief hanging by the entrance, and after a final minute of preparation, got started.

The horses’ company was nice at first, but the mind-numbing tedium of shoveling out their droppings, brushing their hair and changing their water (among other tasks) quickly began taking its toll. No matter how hard she worked, it felt like she had barely made a dent in the job as a whole. Soon, sweat was dripping from her bangs, and her uniform began clinging to her body with a sickening stickiness. Her arms burned under the stress of their repeated usage as her legs slowly lost all feeling the more she was forced to pace back and forth. It was only the gradual cooling of the air and extension of the shadows that confirmed time was actually passing. Several times she caught herself in moments of weakness, wishing she had accepted Leonie’s help; a furious shake of the head and quick mental scolding put her back on the right path, back to her due repentance.

Finally, after what had very well felt like an eternity, she was nearly done. True to Claude’s word, there was only a glimmer of sunlight still flickering over the horizon. She was finishing up the last stall when a neigh came from the entrance.

_ A knight must be bringing in their steed. That means another horse to tend to…_

Peeking over the wall revealed that it wasn’t just a knight coming in – it was the man in blue she’d seen that morning. The newly minted Professor Eisner, if she wasn’t mistaken. Either way, he was probably busy, so she forced herself to come forward and take the stallion off his hands.

“U-um, I’m cleaning the stables, so I’ll take care of your horse for you. You don’t have to worry about it.”

He gave no response, silently staring at her for a few seconds before speaking. “You are a student here.” His voice was unusually…dull. Almost lifeless as a matter of fact. To be honest, Marianne found it disconcerting. Still, if he was important enough to be allowed to store his steed in the stable, he was important enough to warrant a conversation.

“Y-yes, I’m a member of the Golden Deer. My name is Marianne von Edmund. Our House is supposed to clean the stables this Moon.”

“I was told students were supposed to work in pairs at a minimum.”

“That’s true, but I volunteered to work alone. It’s alright; I like the animals, so it relaxes me.”

“Your arms are shaking, you’re hunched over, and there are deep bags under your eyes. You are suffering from exhaustion. You need to stop and go to sleep.”

She looked as awful as she felt? Good – that meant the pain was real and not just in her head. The Goddess would be pleased with her dedication. But it would all be for naught if she stopped now, so close to the end. “I can’t, not when your horse still needs cleaning. Just let me take care of him, and you can go about your business. I’ll be fine, I promise.” Her body, damn it to Hell, took that time to voice its displeasure, her stomach loudly growling.

“It’s my father’s horse, not mine. He doesn’t like strangers, so you won’t be able to tend to him anyway. You have obviously missed dinner, so I’ll take you to the dining hall and have them make something for us.”

Oh Goddess, _no!_ He wanted her to waste not only his time, but the time of the kitchen staff too? She couldn’t let her Crest cause anymore misfortune – not today. “Please, that won’t be necessary. I can just have a larger breakfast tomorrow. There’s no need to trouble yourself or the cooks because of me.”

“I’m told professors often work past the normal hours, so the kitchen staff are used to making meals for a few individuals after dinner. I have not eaten either, so they will be troubled regardless of whether or not you join me. As a new professor, they need to learn my face and habits.” That pretty much confirmed his identity, though she still didn’t know much beyond that. “In any case, Rhea and Seteth told me it’s my responsibility to look after the students. You need food and rest, and I don’t think you’ll get either if I leave you alone. Your work is finished, and you have no reason to refuse my help Marianne.”

When he put it like that, she _had _completed her task without any help, and if the cooks would be busy anyway…

“O-okay, I’ll join you for a meal before bed.” Her acceptance got Professor Eisner’s lips to curl upwards in a small smile, the first show of emotion she’d seen from him.

“Good. Give me a moment to put him away.”

A few minutes later and they were on their way. She retraced her steps from the morning, crossing the fishing pond for a third time to enter the dining hall instead of fleeing out of it. Professor Eisner was nice enough to keep the silence between them during the trip; apparently, he was as taciturn as her where others might have made small talk.

“Take a seat wherever you like. I’ll go have something made for us.”

She chose the table closest to the pond entrance, sitting near the door itself. Now alone and out of the stables, she realized just how filthy she was. She knew it really wasn’t proper for a noblewoman to dine in such a state, but then she hadn’t been given much of a choice. The professor took only a few moments to rejoin her, sitting on the opposite side of the table from her.

“They will be roasting a pheasant. I trust that is okay?”

“It’s more than okay – I greatly enjoy pheasant.” She wasn’t lying to avoid conflict; her father had been very fond of the bird and would often cook it for her.

“Then this will be a pleasant meal for us both. While we wait, I want to know about why you’re here and what you think of the Academy. I’ve had little chance to ask any of the Blue Lions yet, and you may be able to give me better perspective for when we do speak.”

So much for him being as quiet as she hoped. Avoiding conversation like this was the reason she always tried to eat alone. And yet…he was giving her a chance to make herself useful. He was still new, and any insight she could give might help him and his students down to road. It wasn’t much, but she’d learned long ago to take any chance she could to do some small good in the world. Besides, he’d invited her to dinner; it would be plain rude to not speak with him.

“Um, okay. Just…please understand if I don’t want to speak about something.” She was willing to talk, so long as he respected her privacy. “I-is there anything specific you want to know?”

“For what reason are you attending Garreg Mach?” The Professor was still stern and blunt as a hammer, which made the harmless question feel more akin to an interrogation. Since he was a former mercenary, maybe the only people he was used to questioning were captured bandits and other unsavory ilk. In time, he’d probably learn to tone it down when speaking to the students.

All the same, Marianne winced under his stony gaze. “I-it’s because of my adoptive father. He sent me here to learn leadership and people skills.” She left out what she confessed to Hilda; somehow, she doubted a professor would take kindly to hearing she thought the Academy was a waste of time.

The Professor’s response was as instant as it was uncomfortable.

“Why?”

“What do you mean?” She innocently sought clarification, but in her gut, Marianne had a sinking feeling she knew what he was seeking.

“You told me what your adoptive father wants you to learn. That doesn’t explain what he expects or what you intend to do with that knowledge.”

There it was. The question on which Hilda had thankfully sympathized with her. Marianne had always hated thinking of what lie ahead, of things she never intended to experience. She could only guess at what Margrave Edmund thought she’d get out of this, and she had no delusions of ever putting any of the Academy’s teachings to use. If she had her way, there’d be no future for her, and there was no way she would ever let that slip to anybody.

“Um, I’m not sure what I’m going to do with what I learn here.” It was a pathetic attempt at feigning ignorance, and a man as world weary as a lifelong mercenary would see through her in no time. Now, as they always did, he’d push and pry and-

“That’s fine. The year has just begun, and there’s no need to dwell on it yet. In a way, it is advantageous to avoid committing yourself to a single path in life.”

Oh. Marianne blinked in surprise at his words. She was used to disappointed sighs and frustrated shakes of the head when she said she had no plans. It was unexpectedly comforting to hear an authority figure tell her she was doing alright, even if he was speaking from a misinformed perspective. A small smile began to tug at her lips.

“Thank you, Professor Eisner. It’s nice to hear you say that.”

“I hope you’ll remember my words. And please, don’t call me that. ‘Byleth’ is the only name I’ve ever used, and hearing ‘Eisner’ always makes me think of my father.”

“Professor Hanneman explicitly told us to call you ‘Professor Eisner’. Even ignoring that, I personally don’t think it’s proper for a student to address a professor by their first name.”

Upon hearing Hanneman’s name, Byleth’s eyes tiredly drooped. “Of course he did. If that’s what he said and how you feel, then just call me ‘Professor’. I’d rather be called by my name, but use that if you must have a formal way of address.”

“Um, alright then Professor.” She got a tiny smile in response, though it soon disappeared as Byleth’s thoughts returned to their previous topic.

“Now, you said you are here to learn leadership…you’re a member of the Golden Deer, yes?” When she nodded in return, his eyes grew dark. “Then I hope Hanneman is good for more than Crest research. You will learn nothing from Claude.”

Her eyes went wide. She didn’t know Claude very well, but to hear the new professor speak of him in such a distasteful tone was shocking. She thought back to everything she knew about him, and stopped at something he’d said that morning, “Claude told us he spoke to you before you decided which house to teach. D-did what he said upset you?”

“It was what he didn’t say, him and Edelgard both. I met them and Dimitri during a bandit raid on Remire village, and the three were roughly on par in battle. Before and after the skirmish, they bickered with one another in a way you’d expect of the future leaders of distinct nations. When I was asked to lead one of their houses, I decided to form judgement based on how they acted out of combat and how they spoke of their housemates.” In a way, Marianne thought it was ironic that someone like her, who cared nothing for gossip, was about to hear what was doubtless a highly sought-after story.

“I spoke with Edelgard first. I suspected she had a militant disposition, but I wasn’t prepared for how clinically she described the Black Eagles. All she did was talk about their use as assets to the empire. Nothing of their characteristics as people. The students may be here to learn combat skills, but she was too far detached from the soldiers she was supposed to lead.”

“Claude had the opposite issue. He spoke at length of how distinct and vibrant each of the Golden Deer was, to the point he neglected to share anything about their value in battle. He struck me as a man who wasn’t taking anything seriously. Even in Remire village, he was far too laid back considering the situation. I’ve seen nonchalant like that get men killed.”

Marianne felt obligated to defend Claude when she remembered his behavior earlier in the day. _He _did_ turn down Ignatz’s suggestion to think more carefully about the mock battle, just assuring us he had a plan of some kind. _“I think I’ve seen what you mean. Even if it’s not real, I don’t think he’s taking Friday’s mock battle very seriously.”

Byleth gave a small hum of disapproval. “That doesn’t surprise me. I can only hope his lackadaisical disposition catches up to him before it puts anyone in jeopardy.” He seemed to remember Marianne was technically under Claude’s authority, and that telling her he’d get his subordinates killed was probably a bad idea. “Not that there’s any reason for you to be concerned. Hanneman wouldn’t be a professor if he wasn’t at least competent enough to keep the students safe.”

Marianne couldn’t help but feel better at his assurances. Despite some of her darker lines of thinking (like when Hanneman introduced himself), she’d much rather go peacefully in her sleep rather than bleed to death from a horrific wound.

Reviewing all he’d told her, she realized there was one piece she hadn’t yet heard. “If Edelgard was too stern and Claude was too apathetic, what made you decide on Dimitri?”

The mention of the prince’s name immediately raised Byleth’s mood. “He isn’t perfect, but Dimitri struck a healthy balance between the other two. He talked of the Blue Lions, even those he didn’t know well, like cherished friends. At the same time, he wasn’t shy about how reliable they would be as comrades-in-arms. He values their companionship, but he has no delusions about the risks they will face together. I find that Dimitri is a natural leader, despite whatever issues he may have.”

_ What issues? _Marianne mentally scolded herself for her curiosity. It was no business of hers what other people were dealing with, especially when she refused to share much about herself.

“On that note, let me give you a quick lesson on leadership, as that’s what you’re here to study.” Marianne refocused her attention on the professor; even if she wouldn’t put it to use, she might be able to pass it on to someone who could. “As you may have guessed from my experiences with the House leaders, I find that the best leaders are those who care about their troops as individuals as well as soldiers. Attachment to those under you will give you both better understanding of their strengths and greater incentive to keep them alive, resulting in more elaborate strategies to ensure their safety. Knowledge of their capabilities as combatants will guarantee that they are deployed where most efficient, also increasing their chances of survival.”

His voice, which hadn’t strayed far from its dead monotone all night, suddenly gained a touch of affection. “I’ve seen all of this firsthand with my father. He’s always led the mercenaries to victory with that mindset. That’s why people follow him, more so than any skill with a blade he has.”

His words were topped off with plates of roasted pheasant being placed before the two of them. The maid responsible gave a short bow before returning to her station. With the succulent bird finally in front of her, Marianne realized just how famished she really was. Before giving thanks to the Goddess and enjoying the meal, she raised her head to meet Byleth’s eyes.

“Thank you very much, Professor. For taking care of me and sharing your experiences. I was supposed to tell you information, not the other way around. So…thank you. I promise I won’t forget this.”

Byleth met her gaze with a contented smile. “Think nothing of it, Marianne. I’m happy to help. I can only hope I’ve properly done my job as a professor.”

With no more words to be shared, Marianne thanked the Goddess for her gift and began to eat.

* * *

Dimitri knew it was unfounded, but he couldn’t help but worry. The professor should have been at the classroom nearly an hour ago, and still there was no sign of him. By all rights he had simply gotten caught up in work, but the thought that he’d fallen victim to an assailant made him nervously pace around the room. Finally, the door opened, and Byleth stepped through to join the prince.

“Professor! I’ve been worried sick waiting for you to arrive. It is nearly an hour past our scheduled time!”

“I’m sorry for keeping you Dimitri. I was brining in my father’s horse when I found a student in the stables. She’d been working to clean it alone ever since class was dismissed.”

“She’d been cleaning the entire stables by herself?!” Dimitri’s worry quickly evaporated into indignation. “If I’m not mistaken, stable duty is the task assigned to the Golden Deer for this Moon. I am going to have words with Claude over his treatment of his classmates.”

Byleth shook his head. “There’s no need. I went to see Hanneman before I came here, and he confirmed that she volunteered to do it single-handed. Still, she was about ready to collapse when I walked in. She wanted to take care of my father’s steed too, but I forced her to stop and get something to eat. She would have refused even that much if I hadn’t eaten with her.”

“You had a second dinner? Given how large the meal we all shared was, I can’t imagine you’re feeling too well about now. Though I imagine the discomfort is outshone by the satisfaction of having done a good deed. At least that girl will no longer be working until sundown.”

Byleth nervously diverted his eyes. “I had every intention of bringing that up with Hanneman, but she made swear not to. I can’t explain it; as we were saying goodbye, for some reason she insisted that she be allowed to continue maintaining the stables in solitude. There was something…desperate about the way she pleaded with me to keep quiet about the state she was in. Do you know anything about Marianne von Edmund?”

Dimitri’s confusion only compounded as Byleth further described the scene, bringing a hand to rest on his chin. “I believe there is a Margrave Edmund in the Leicester Alliance. He is only a minor lord, so I know little of his territory or family. I’m afraid this Marianne is a stranger to me, and I haven’t the faintest idea why she would needlessly subject herself to such strain.”

“Considering what Dedue told me when I first spoke with him, she’s not the only one pushing herself too hard.” He fixed a pointed stare at the regal blond, who awkwardly coughed and suddenly found the floor a very interesting sight.

“I’m certain I have no idea what you’re talking about.” His training was to make him strong enough to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves, to make sure _it_ would never happen again. It was nothing like the torture Marianne was seemingly putting herself through.

Byleth sadly shook his head. “I am just glad I got her to eat and on her way to sleep. With how quiet and withdrawn she was, I can only hope she’ll find friends in the Golden Deer to be there for her. I am needed here, leading the Blue Lions.”

His statement got Dimitri’s concerned frown to curve into a proud smile. “You honor me and all of Faerghus with your words, Professor. On that note, shall we get started discussing strategy for the coming mock battle?”

His professor gave him a nod of assent, and the two convened over the desk at the head of the room, maps and labelled figurines scattered about.

* * *

As she put on her nightgown, hair still damp from the sauna, Marianne had to admit that all things considered, the day had gone much better than she had anticipated.

Her Crest had kept it’s influence limited to her immediate area, so she didn’t end up ruining countless hopeful students’ first days at the Academy. It was bound to flare up sooner or later, but at least for now it was still within her ability to mitigate the damage.

Hilda was wasting her time, but Marianne did appreciate the effort she was making. It was nice to be treated like a person, even if she didn’t really deserve it. She seemed like the gossiping type; maybe she’d share a nugget of the Professor’s story with her as a sign of appreciation.

Ensuring the Golden Deer’s failure by getting herself picked for the mock battle was a definite low point, but if Professor Hanneman was right, she was fortunate it would ultimately be of no consequence. Far better for Claude to realize how worthless she was in a no stakes skirmish that out in the field against real threats. Not to mention she’d already made progress on making up for it.

The stables had been cleaned, and she’d done it all without giving into the temptation to ask for help. The Professor had been unexpected, but given that he’d only appeared right after she finished, she took his offered meal and advice as a blessing from the Goddess for her dedication.

_ If she’s willing to grant that much just for one afternoon of stable cleaning, it can’t be much longer before she answers my daily prayers._

For the first time, Marianne felt glad to be at the Officer’s Academy. Together, the work they gave and the holiest church in Fódlan would bring her the Goddess’ favor far faster than she could’ve gotten it anywhere else.

And if there were people as helpful as the Professor around to make what little time she spent here more bearable, that was just a bonus.

She finished reciting her nightly prayer and slipped under the covers. While she’d usually spend several hours tossing and turning, dreading the coming nightmares, her labor in the stables caught up with her, and she was asleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

_If death should take me now_

_Count my mistakes and let me through_

_He’ll whisper in my ear:_

_“You’ve taken more than we’ve received_

_And the ocean of sorrow is you”_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> So I have, understandably, been in a bit of a Three Houses craze as of late. Obviously, I'm a Blue Lion through and through. I have tons of ideas for other stories, but as they'd also be really really long, I'm limiting myself to this and Journey Through Pressure. 
> 
> Sorry for how short this chapter is, I like to always put out at least 10k word chapters. I wanted this to cover the whole first month, but it was going to be way too big to finish before September at that rate. 
> 
> I intend for this to go through the entire Blue Lions campaign with Marianne's presence (and others!) altering events. I'm actually heavily considering changing some aspects (like how Edelgard wages war based on mole people lies or how the Empire is secretly controlled by ancient dubstep wizards), and Claude is 99% going to do different things in Part 2, but that's a long way off from making any kind of impact, so there's time yet to think.
> 
> Regarding that bit at the beginning: Those are lyrics from the chapter namesake, "Burden" by Swedish Progressive Metal band Opeth. I used it because Marianne's a suicidally depressed mess at the start of TH, and the song is about dying with an unfathomable amount of pain and regret clinging to you. The Part 1 title comes from another Swedish Metal band, Katatonia. "The Longest Year" is about how bleak and miserable the future will be; apt, considering the shitshow that erupts after this school year.
> 
> Regarding Journey Through Pressure: I am working on chapter 2. With the outline I've got I predict it being at least ~15k words, could easily go past 20k. I want to get at least one chapter out for one of these two stories a month, maybe both since Lion's Pride chapters should only be 10k-15k words at most. The new semester has started up and I'm a double major doing research, so I'm going to be a busy bee in the near future.
> 
> As always, please leave comments giving your thoughts on my writing style, the story itself, how I portray the characters, whatever. Any criticism, positive or negative, is helpful.
> 
> Thank you very much for reading and I hope you look forward to more.


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